The company producing the mascot for this year's World Cup has declared itself bankrupt after the toy failed to score with consumers.
Nici paid 28 million euros ($36m; £19m) for the sole rights to "Goleo", a football-kit-wearing lion. ... However, it seems to have scored an own goal by choosing a mascot that has little connection to Germany, whose national symbol is an eagle.
I propose we organise a boycott of German goods, and impose import duties on things like bratwurst and sauerkraut. In the interests of fairness, and showing that we're not racist, German beer will be subsidised.